What is the craziest thing that you do in the name of love? I have friends who send flowers to his lady everyday for months, I knew some guys who purposely waited in front of the lady office for hours just to catch the glimpse of her, I knew at least 2 friends who said "I miss the lady so much that seing the roof of the house would ease the pain", I have some friends who failed to complete their degrees because of rejections, I knew & I have seen a lot of things that people do in the name of love!
But I have never seen anyone kidnapping a lady to make her his bride!
Last Friday 3rd Sept 2010, I saw BBC Special report on "Stolen Brides and Life on Exile for Chechnya". I was surprised to know that bride stealing/kidnapping are centuries old tradition of the Chechen people! If a man likes a woman, then he is allowed to kidnap the lady and take her home to see his parents. But, he is not supposed to touch her. The man's parents then is supposed to contact the lady's parents to ask the blessing for marriage. 99% of the time, the lady's parents will say "yes"!
Unthinkable right?
I then started to surf the internet. Interestingly I found the TV report in BBC News. You can also download the full report via podcast & BBC iPlayer. Trust me, this is a very interesting report that you are strongly recommended to download it. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/from_our_own_correspondent/8891579.stm
... a month ago on her way home from college in the Chechen capital of Grozny, she (please see the attached photo) was snatched off the street and bundled into the car by a man she barely knew. A week later she was Bogdan Khazhiev's wife...
"Its the law of our grandfathers", Bogdan said. "We have to respect our Chechen traditions, You have to become a Chechen to understand this tradition!"
Some disturbing facts:-
1) Kyrgyzstan - despite of its illegality, bride kidnapping which is also know as ala kachuu is an accepted and common way of taking a wife
2) Kazakstan - bride kidnapping can be devided into consensual and non consensual abductions. Dont's ask me what as I am also confused about this!
3) Uzbekistan/Karakalpakstan - nearly one fifth of all marriages are initiated by bride kidnappings!
4) Dagestan, Chechnya & Ingushetia - bride kidnapping is a culture.
5) Under the Russian law - a kidnapper who refuses to release his "bride" can be sentenced from 8 to 10 years imprisonment, BUT a kidnapper will not be prosecuted if he release the victim or marries her with consent!
6) China - bride kidnapping maybe is the answer to have a wife because of China's strict one child per family. Sometimes these brides will be sold to rural China areas up to the distant Mongolia
7) Bulgaria - this is a non contestable acceptable culture
8) Others (Hmong, Mexico (Tzeltal community), Roma (Gypsies), etc etc. You will be amazed of the facts!
Women activist have been active to condem this centuries old tradition. But, I dont this it will be taken seriously by the sincere "husbands-to-be". After all their intention is so pure and never did they have any intention to hurt the ladies. All the boys wanted is to have a lawful wife!
So, how far will you go in search of love?
"2) Kazakstan - bride kidnapping can be devided into consensual and non consensual abductions. Dont's ask me what as I am also confused about this!"
ReplyDelete"Consensual kidnapping" occurs when the bride and groom agree for the bride to become "abducted", usually with a specified time and date. They do this in order to circumvent the necessity of having the groom pay the bride's family for her hand in marriage, or because the couple is not allowed to wed for some reason or another. The kidnapping act itself is almost tongue-in-cheek, and if the bride lightly resists, it is suppose to be part of the act to show that she is a proper and modest woman, etc., as in the end, she willingly goes anyway.
Non-consensual kidnapping is basically where a perfect stranger abducts a woman off the street, without her permission or knowledge, for the purpose of marriage. It is the latter that is a growing problem in Kazakstan, and one that human-rights interest groups are trying to eradicate.
I guess my response would be "what if the shoe were on the other foot" ... if it were "groom kidnapping" ---- if the choice and control over ones life and ones safety were taken from a man instead of a woman? If it were totally consensual and it were sort of a mutual game, that would be one thing, but only then.
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